Arsthbt

I have a rather peculiar situation.

My wife and I have a couple who we are friends with, and recently the woman (let’s call her Jane) was hired in my company and works in my team (I’m her manager!).

Now Jane and my wife often socialize , with frequent shopping trips and lunches together. Now suddenly things have turned a bit sour between them and they had a few arguments, during which Jane also acted rudely and cut off all connection to my wife (Jane is a bit of an emotional cannon at times).

Now my wife is pissed off because of her behavior and I’m in an awkward position because I meet Jane at work and she acts normal. I also act normal since I don’t merge my professional and personal spheres of life. But it is terribly awkward since we don’t socialize with the couple anymore and deep down I feel that she owes an apology to my wife or at least they should clarify things between them.

I also feel angry at times that she used the connection with us to get the job but of course it was my decision to hire her and she is a qualified person for the job too. Of course I as her manager can make it difficult for her (even fire her) but I’m a nice guy :) so I don’t feel it is right as this personal issue shouldn’t come in professional domain. My wife, although bitter about it, is also of the opinion that I should not let this interfere with my work relationship towards Jane. But to be honest, I’m pissed off at this whole episode. Jane is seemingly quite naive to act as she likes and feel no obligation to apologize, knowing the link to her career.

I need to know from third person’s perspective if I’m thinking right and if I should act in any way or just ignore and carry on the professional work like nothing happened.

TL;DR - There is nothing, absolutely nothing you need / should do to react in a professional capacity. Just carry on, business as usual.

I also act normal since I don’t merge my professional and personal spheres of life.

I don't think you're very good at it. You are letting your personal issues (out of the office relationship) cloud your professional judgement.

Of course I as her manager can make it difficult for her (even fire her)

Please, don't even think about it. What an employee does outside the office is no reason to judge them in a professional capacity. You are thinking of getting into a "revenge" mode, curb this thought at root.

I also feel angry at times that she used the connection with us to get the job [...]

Nope, not at all. She might have used the connection to know about the opening and applied and as you mentioned, the hiring was based on their capabilities. You rather should be thankful, they saved you some time and effort "head-hunting".

My wife, although bitter about it, is also of the opinion that I should not let this interfere with my work relationship towards Jane.

She is right, listen to her.

I don't think you need a 3rd person telling you what you should do to be honest.

It is quite clear, you were friends, you helped her get a job that you feel she is qualified for, she is no longer a friend but a co-worker.

As long as Jane acts professionally and doesn't make any personal comments, leave it as it is. When you walk in the office, you leave your home behind.

When you walk into your house, you should leave your job behind as well.

Remain professional. If she ends up apologizing to your wife and they become friends again, what would you do if you had fired her?